LIVE THE LIFE YOU LOVE

I had a big wakeup call recently.

I’m not sure if it was the passing of my Grandma or a conversation I had with my sister or filling out my Start Today Journal every day. Honestly, it’s probably been a combination of all of those things and then some.

The point being:

YOU’VE GOT TO START LIVING THE LIFE YOU LOVE <3

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I get it. It sounds cliché. But let me break it down for you a little further:

A life you love is NOT…

A life to impress other people.
A life you think you should be living.
A life doing things that makes everyone else happy. Everyone but you.
A life of waiting for the weekend or your next vacation to escape your reality.
A life where you feel stuck.

A life you love…

Is looking forward to the day ahead because you know there’s magical moments to be found. It’s springing out of bed early to get your morning moving. It’s being fully present in each part of your day. It’s finding joy. It’s being grateful for what you have. It’s feeling truly happy because you are doing things you enjoy. It’s looking back on life, and having no regrets, because you lived your life to the fullest. Every. Single. Day.

SO, HOW DO YOU DO THIS?

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Designed by: Erin Noga

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FIRST: FIND YOUR HAPPY PLACE

• Jot down the things that bring you joy.
  Ask yourself: What are the things that make me happy?

For example, my list looks like this:

• Watching the sunrise / sunset

• Swinging in the hammock

• Going on adventures — especially water activities in the summer!

• Taking Manny on walks

• Connecting with others

• Playing music

• Taking photos (of everything)

• Being creative

• Storytelling

• Working toward my goals

If you are having trouble coming up with a list, I would recommend creating a Vision Book (or a Vision Board). This will help you VISUALIZE those things. When you flip through magazines and find something that warms your heart, that’s your HAPPY PLACE. Cut that out and paste it into your life!

But remember: Don’t put things on YOUR list just because you saw someone else doing XYZ and THINK those things are a “good idea”. The only person you should be comparing yourself to is you!

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SECOND: SHOW “NO” THE DOOR

When is the last time you said NO?
Here’s a trick: If it’s not a HELL YES then it’s a no.

• STOP doing things that don’t bring you joy.
  Ask yourself: What don’t I like doing but I’m doing anyhow?

For example, here’s some things I’ve had to re-evaluate in my life:

• Running Streak
  (I like running but looking back, FORCING my self to run EVERY DAY was not the best practice for my health. Sure, it was great for my physical health. It also taught me discipline and built my endurance. But for my mental health? It made me feel like I was forced to do something that some days, I didn’t want to do. Some days I just wanted to do Zumba in my living room, but felt like I couldn’t because I committed to a #RunningStreak. This year, though, I shifted my mindset from a streak to simply: DO EXERCISE YOU ENJOY. It’s been SUCH a game changer)
  
  

• Cleaning
  (OK, so I actually like cleaning because it de-stresses me and a clean house makes me feel good. But when I look at how my time is best spent, it’s not cleaning. I’ve learned to BLESS THE MESS. I keep the house picked up, but there’s definitely dust bunnies up in here. The floor could be swept more often. And the toilets cleaned more. One day, I’m going to hire someone to come and deep clean the house once or twice a month. But until then, deep cleaning isn’t high up on my priority list. And that’s okay!)
  
  

• Dieting
  (I HATE counting calories. I HATE writing down everything I ate. I HATE tracking how much water I drank. It’s not for me. What is for me though, is learning what foods fuel my body. It’s actually eating those foods. It’s allowing myself to have queso or ice cream when I truly want it. It’s called Food Freedom. I will never do another diet again. I will, however, keep evaluating the foods I eat and how my body responds to them. I like it. It works for me. Do the things that work for you!)
  
  

• Drinking
  (I’m not opposed to drinking. I don’t have a problem with people who do. But I’ve cut back the alcohol I consume. Not that it was a ton before, but I have realized the effects it was having on my body. The brain fog. Being hungover. Having one drink and then being forced with the decision: Am I going to have another? Drinking is fine and I’ll still enjoy an adult beverage or two from time to time, but only if I truly want it. It’s not an automatic “Wine Wednesday” or “I NEED a drink after the day I had.”)

• Free Time
  (In my free time, I’ve learned I love being at home. After years of being on the go all the time, I’ve grown to really appreciate my backyard, swinging in the hammock and reading a good book. Sometimes, I’ll get invited to do things or I’ll be asked to help with something. I ask myself if it’s something I really want to do and then look at my week. Sometimes, I go. But sometimes, I say no. It’s nothing against the person. I just know my I need my “me time” in my happy place).

Note: You can be polite by declining. I’ve had a couple people reach out to me recently about various projects and opportunities or trips, and I thanked them for thinking of me but ultimately had to say “No” because I knew it wasn’t a HELL YES.

If you’re struggling with this concept, know this:
It’s NOT selfish to make yourself a priority. You’ve got to fill your cup up first in order to overflow into others.

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THIRD: EVALUATE YOUR SCHEDULE

Now that you have your list, it’s time to look at your calendar. What’s on it?

• Do you have your ME TIME built in?

• Are you filling your schedule with things OTHER people want you to do?

The best thing you can do for yourself is carve out AT LEAST one hour each day to focus on YOU. If you can give yourself more than one hour, great! During this time, you can do WHATEVER it is that brings you joy.

I have a quote in my office that says, “Do one thing every day that makes your heart sing.”
What is that thing for you?! (Hint: Look back at #1)

Now…
What’s on your calendar that YOU didn’t place on there? What’s on there that’s someone else’s agenda?

If you don’t ENJOY doing it, stop doing it! This is your life. You are an adult. You can make decisions for yourself! You get to decide! Life is WAY too short to be doing things that don’t add value to your life.

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Designed by: Erin Noga

FOURTH: TAKE ACTION

Planning only gets you so far! You can PLAN all day. You can come up with the BEST PLAN EVER.
But if you don’t put it into action, you’re going to get no where.

For instance…

• Meal planning + prepping on the weekend followed by a week of take out / going out to eat.

• Buying gym clothes but not going to the gym.

• Talking about a dream vacation but never taking the steps to book your trip.

• Dreaming up a business you want to start but letting that idea sit in your head.

• Wanting to write a book but not getting the words to paper.

You don’t have to do everything at once! In fact, you shouldn’t.

Start with ONE thing on your list.
Start slow!
One foot in front of the other.
One day at a time.

Before you know it, those baby steps will turn into miles and you’ll be running toward your goals!

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FIFTH: GO ALL IN

Once you begin taking action, promise me this. Promise me you will GO ALL IN.

At TribeHer a couple weeks ago, the question was asked: When do you feel most ALIVE?

I thought on it for a hot minute and then responded: I feel most alive when I am fully present in each moment.

Let me explain:
You’re at work? Focus on work.
You’re working out? Break a sweat!
You’re at church? Stop thinking about everything you have to do this week.
You’re with your friends? Get off your phone.

To get the MOST out of the life you are living, you’ve got to eliminate the distractions that are surrounding you. You’ve got to focus on the thing you working toward, in the present moment. Go. All. In.

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ARE YOU READY TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE ?!?

Quit hitting the snooze button.

Wake up and let’s get moving!

5-4-3-2-1

Let’s goooooooo!

Mid-Year GOAL Check-In

It’s June (almost July), which means we are more than 1/2 way through with the year!

This past weekend, I completed a mid-year review of the goals I set in January. This helped me to see where I’m currently at, where I’ve been and what I need to do over the next six months to complete them.

I also tweaked some of my goals. Because let’s be real — things change over time! What you planned at the beginning of the year may not be where you are currently headed. And that’s OK!

You’re not a failure for reworking your goals.
You’re successful because you do! 

Rachel Hollis gave me the idea of a Mid-Year GOAL Check-In and I think it’s brilliant. I plan to do this again every year — it has been SUPER helpful.

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Here’s what I found:

Goal 1: I paid off Pearl! (Bonus: I tackled my FedLoans)

Where I started: $6,716.91
Where I’m at: $3,687.56

January - Paid $400
February - Paid $1200
March - Paid $700
April - Paid $550
May - Paid NONE
June - Paid $300

Where I’m going: To get this loan paid off early!!!!

It’s taken me a bit longer than expected. I took a HUGEEE road trip across the country ($1,400) and right before I did that, I fixed the air compressor in my car ($900).

I’ve also made an investment to go to the RISE Business conference in November (SO EXCITED!)— spending ($330) on a ticket + ($300) on an AirBnb for 4 nights. Soon, I’m applying for a membership at United House Publishing to get my book published ($97 / month).

Do I regret any of these decisions? No. Some were fun. Some were needed. Others were investments in myself.

Do I realize because I made these choices, it will take longer to pay Pearl off? Yes, which is the 2nd price I have to pay (in addition to the cost of the opportunity). Tough reality.

I also haven’t been as strict with my spending as I was last year. But I’m not giving up!!! It’s time to get gazelle intense again. It’s time to say ‘no’ to things now so later I can say ‘yes’. The tough part is knowing there are things I want to do, but I need to remember that sacrificing now means I can get to enjoy those things quicker later down the road.

No BS. Here’s how I’ll achieve this:

• Tighten up the ropes on my budget. Which translates to…Monthly budget meetings BEFORE the month begins. Planning AHEAD for the next month. NOT entering expenses into EveryDollar AFTER spending the money and then “figuring out the math” LATER.

  “Children do what feels good. Adults devise a plan and follow it.” -Dave Ramsey
  

• Use cash envelopes again. When the money is gone, no more spending until next month!

• Evaluate my spending on groceries. I know I spend WAY too much $$$ here. See where I can cut back and / or any habits I can change.

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Goal 2: I documented 2019 with 1SE (the “one second everyday” app).

Where I started:
With creating my Vision Book! This chapter the book is by far the LONGEST. 37 pages full of magazine clippings with how I thought the year would unfold. It’s been so cool to go through and see things I’ve wanted to do become a reality. It’s also fun to flip through when I’m not sure what to do, because there’s plenty of inspiration inside.

Where I’m at:
Doing this project really makes me appreciate each day. There’s magical moments to be found in everyday life!

We are going strong on the video recordings! I don’t think I’ve missed a day yet (if I did, Live Photos have been a life saver). Plus, many days have TWO videos (SO many good times). Check out the monthly #1SE videos I’ve created so far!

Two huge benefits from #1SE:
1. I don’t feel like I have to post EVERYTHING that happens to Facebook / Instagram — because it’s documented within the video!
2. It’s really helping me remember the year. It’s amazing much one second can jog your memory!

Where I’m going:
There’s 6 months (well, technically only 5ish now) to go before we put ALL the monthly videos together to make our 2019 video!

Here are some things I will make happen (or would like to make happen) before 2020 makes its appearance:

• Take Manny to the beach (Indiana Dunes)

• See live music at the Rathskeller

• Check out the City Market (Downtown Indy)

• Night drive to nowhere

• Take a hike in Brown County

• Camping at Red River Gorge (With Erin!)

• POSSIBLY: Go to Holiday World

• Paint a new piece at The Studio

• 2nd Annual FL trip with Justin to watch the Gators play!

• Look into volunteer opportunities at the Miracle Movers softball field (September?!?)

• Attend the Albuquerque International Hot Air Balloon Fiesta

• Finish my college t-shirt quilt (in memory of Grandma)

• “Make your home a Nest home”

• Manny gets a brother!?!??!

• Engagement?!?!?

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Goal 3: I found #FoodFreedomForever.

Where I started:
In 2018, I did my first and second rounds of Whole30 and learned a TON.

In 2019, I wanted to slowly figure out my Food Freedom Forever. I say “slowly” because all good things take time! Quick fixes aren’t usually the answer.

At the beginning of the year, Justin surprised me! He wanted to take on the Whole30. Coming right off the holidays, I knew it was good for me, too. We did a round in January and felt really good! But went back to some old habits the next few months. In April-May, we began another round — a Whole45 (for me) and a Whole60 (for him).

Where we are at:
It’s crazy to say this — but Justin and I are actually on the same page about the foods we bring into the house! We’ve found quick, easy meals we both love that are healthy for us. (THANK YOU AIR FRYER). It’s pretty wild considering where we were a year or two ago, but I’m super stoked about it. (We consume all the apples, peppers, Stok + Starbucks black coffee, chicken wings, burgers, potatoes and hot sauce around here).

The goal of the Whole30 is NOT to be on it for your entire life. I am honestly kinda excited to be OFF the Whole30 so I can find my #FoodFreedomForever. I’ve been reading the book “Food Freedom Forever” by Melissa (Hartwig) Urban and my mind is finally starting to comprehend this whole concept of #FoodFreedom. I do NOT plan to do another Whole30 this year. My goal is to continue to evaluate foods as I eat them, and figure out what foods ARE and are NOT “worth it”.

What’s next:

• Ask myself the following questions with everything I eat:

  • Are you actually hungry?

  • Do you really want to eat this?

  • Is it worth it?

• Create a Food log (at least for now) to document “Worth it” and “Not Worth it” foods

• Remind myself: You don’t have to indulge just because it’s a special occasion.

  ”You are an adult with a car, money and free will. You can buy a cupcake, bottle of wine or cheesecake any time you want, always and forever. You don’t have to wait for your birthday or special occasion, because your true enjoyment of the experience makes it special. But if the special day rolls around and in that moment, you decide you’re just as happy sticking to a healthy template and skipping all desserts or drinks, you should do that.” (Pg. 140 of #FFF)

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Goal 4: I spent more time with Him <3

Where I started:
In 2018, I found a church I call home: TRIBE

In 2019, I wanted to figure out what faith actually meant. “Going to church” was a good start, but it wasn’t good enough for me. I wanted to truly feel connected to Him whenever + wherever I was. Not only on Sundays.

Where I’m at:
I’ve joined two Tribe groups since the beginning of the year. The first was Financial Peace University (the program is over now, but we still connect and check-in from time to time). The second is a women’s group called TribeHer — we currently meet every other Wednesday. I love both of these groups because of the people. Each group has it’s own way of sharing stories of what He is doing in our lives <3

I also began serving on the Welcome Team. It’s been a great way to give my time and to meet + greet, new + old faces who come to Tribe.

Where I’m going:
Like I said in the beginning, my goal is to spend more time with Him. There’s a couple things I want to focus on the second half of the year to do this!

• Read the Bible

  • The Gospel of John

  • Romans

  • Proverbs

• Create a prayer journal + Learn how I like to pray

• Work on tithing

• Help plan Tribe Women’s retreat for October

• Also! The book publishing company I am applying for a membership at is a Christain based company. The membership includes weekly spiritual encouragement and one-on-one training with a writing + spiritual coach. I think this will be a WONDERFUL gift as I navigate my faith!

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Goal 5: I earned $10,000 in additional income.

Where I started: $0

Where I’m at: $0 — other than the couple hundred bucks I made from Lyft the first few months of the year

Where I’m going:
OK, so the $10K was definitely an ambitious goal. The whole point of this goal was for me to figure out something else I could do (in addition to my current job) to make additional income.

For two reasons:

1. I have debt I’d like to pay off as FAST as possible.

2. I have dream of running a thriving company that I built from the ground up.

In the past, many of my “ passion projects” were great hobbies. But hobbies are called hobbies for a reason. They do not make money!

Signing up to attend RISE Business in November has lit a fire within me! It’s making me think of ALL the possibilities of what lies ahead in the future. I’m really trying to dig deep and discover what “side hustle” I can build. We’ll see where it goes from here!

I was recently listening to Melissa Urban’s podcast “Do the Thing” — conversation with Chris Guillebeau — and they gave tips on figuring out what side hustle is best for you:

1. Evaluate your SKILLS. If you have trouble identifying them yourself, ask those around you what you are good at.

2. If you had to make $300-500 in the next 2 weeks, what would you do??

That’s what’s next for me:

• Talking to my close friends + family members about what I’m good at and then EVALUATING my skills

• Determine what my side hustle is and getting to work!
  (Remember: This is NOT a hobby. It’s a BUSINESS that MAKES MONEY)

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Goal 6: I loved on others <3 like they have loved on me.

Where I’m at:
While I don’t think I haven’t loved on others, I do think I can put more love out into the world!

Every week, church ends with the quote, “Loved people love people” and it’s so true. I want to make other people feel loved and seen and connected.

Where I’m going:
Write out ideas on how to love on people + build them up! <3
Note: These are COMPLETELY FREE,

• Pick up the phone and call loved ones more frequently

• When you think something, say something!
  (Ex: you think someone’s dress is super cute, tell them! You think they are radiating happiness, say something! A single mama is doing her best carrying 3 children and their bags around the airport, let her know she’s a rockstar!)

• Leave more comments / messages on other people’s social media accounts than you receive on your own.

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Goal 7: I learned my Enneagram #.

Where I’m at:
I am just now starting to read the book “The Road to You”. I’m eager to learn more about each number and which one I am!

Where I’m going:

• I hope learning my Enneagram # will help me know myself (and others) better

• Reminder: Follow the Enneagram IG accounts Carrie recommended a couple weeks ago
  (Look at photo on phone)

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Goal 8: I read 12 books.

What I’ve read:
1. Where the Crawdads Sing - Delia Owens
2. Girl, Stop Apologizing - Rachel Hollis (Audible)
3. Everybody, Always - Bob Goff
4. Becoming - Michelle Obama (Audible)
5. Wild - Cheryl Strayed
6. Mount Rushmore Q+A - Don “Nick” Clifford

What I’m CURRENTLY reading:
7. Food Freedom Forever - Melissa Hartwig
8. Dare to Lead - Brene Brown (Audible)
9. The Road to You - Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile

What I’m reading next:
10. High Performance Habits - Brenden Bruchard
11. Mere Christianity - CS Lewis
12. Dogs that Know when their Owner is Coming Home - Rupert Sheldrake
13. The Rent Collector - Camron Wright
14. To Shake the Sleeping Self - Jedidiah Jenkins
15. The Home Edit - Clea Shearer and Joanna Teplin

• Heck, we very may well pass 12 books for the year! I consider that a HUGE win! I’m starting to really love reading again.

• For the books I want to read but do NOT already own, I’m going to see if my library offers them!!! That way I’m saving $$$ to help me with Goal #1.

• Also! In my Vision Book, I Ieft a blank page to share “What book I loved most”. I’ll need to fill that out once I have all my books read and can evaluate which one is the Book of the Year in my book!

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Goal 9: I did exercise I enjoy.

Where I’m at:
I will admit — exercise has NOT been a huge focus of mine this year (yet). However, I’m starting to make it a priority in my life once again! Wooooo!

Where I’m going:

• Move my body 20-30 minutes each day!

• Justin and I are running the St. Jude 5K in September!

• 1 New Trail a Week (Use bullet journal to track)
  

IDEAS: Some my FAVORITE ways to move my body!

• Walks with Manny

• Hikes

• Swimming

• Play catch with Justin

• Kayaking

• Zumba

• Dance like no one is watching :)

• Lifting + core exercises in the garage gym

• Bike rides around the neighborhood / parks

• Exploring new places!

• Running Streak (To build endurance for a 5K)

Now, let’s go do them!

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Goal 10: I learned how to curl my hair.
Bonus: I figured out how to REALLY do my makeup.

Where I’m at:
I’ve been curling my hair with a curling wand!!! My co-worker Kailey gifted me a wand she doesn’t use (THANK YOU, GIRL!) The first time I used it, I was going to a wedding and thought I should switch it up with my hair. I had NO idea what I was doing…but I managed it to look halfway decent! I’ve used it a couple times since and it’s AMAZING. So easy to use!!!! Only takes minutes!!! It’s only more curls from here on out!

Where I’m going:
For my birthday, my best friend Jessie from college gave me a bunch of “good” makeup! There were things I hadn’t used before. It’s nice to have some “new to me” makeup that I don’t typically wear to try out!

Once I pay off my car, I’m going to “splurge” just a little and buy some GOOD FOR ME + CLEAN + NON-TOXIC makeup for my skin. We’ll see what I find and use!

(A couple blog posts I plan on reading before diving in: Jenna Kutcher’s Top-Picks for All-Natural, Non-Toxic Makeup and Melissa’s Food Freedom, Breaking Up with my Makeup)

PLUS…my current makeup is almost OUT of like everything. Which should motivate me to get this car paid off faster, right? ;)

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Goal 11: I created a bullet journal

Where I started:
Originally, I thought I wanted to create a bullet journal. However, the journal I ended up creating was my Vision Book! I do have some pages throughout my Vision Book with inserts of bullet journal pages I can fill in. I definitely need to take advantage of those!

But in terms of creating an entire new journal, it’s not going to happen this year. Justin did buy me a bullet journal for my birthday, and one year I will use it! For now though, I don’t need another journal to write in. There’s too much going on as it is.

Where I’m going:
Removing this goal from my list. However, there are a few bullet journal sections I placed in my Vision Book I will be filling out!

Some ideas on what I’ll use those pages for:

• Exercise Tracker

• Food Freedom Tracker

• 1 New Hike a Week

• Upcoming books to read

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Goal 12: I launched “A Day in the Life”

Where I’m at:
When I made this goal, I didn’t know what “A Day in the Life” would look like. Would it be a blog? A Vlog on YouTube? A Book? Who the heck knew! I began working and the pieces of the puzzle came together — I rebranded my blog “Oh, Happy Day” to fit this new theme. I have been posting regularly on here since April (with the exception of a couple weeks I took off during vacation).

Where I’m going:
This is a great question. I have big ideas for “A Day in the Life”, but I need to get these thoughts out of my head and see where they go from here!

Next Steps:

• Have a brainstorm day where I write out ALL my ideas!

• Work with United House to publish my book:
  “365: You Live and You Learn. Every. Single. Day.”
  
  (Note: Check out Carlos Whitaker’s recommendation on using the Paper App on Mac for book writing)

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Whew! That was a lot! But SO incredibly helpful. I’ll be printing this off and putting with my goals notebook so I can easily reference the action items I need to complete, to accomplish the goals I have set!

Let’s gooooooooo!

"I think I want to do the Whole30, but where do I begin?!"

Have you been thinking about doing the Whole30?!

If yes, then this is the blog post for you! After doing several rounds of Whole30 the past year, I’ve put together a list of the things I think you would want to know! These are things that I have either experienced, things I wish I would have known when I started, as well as tips I got from others along the way. I hope this posts helps you as you begin your first Whole30 and journey to finding Food Freedom Forever!

PS I know it’s jammed packed with info, but the more prepared you are before you begin, I truly feel the more successful you will be!

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RESEARCH

In order to understand how the Whole30 works, you’re going to need to do a little bit of research in the beginning! It will only help you as you get your Whole30 underway.

Know this going into the program:

• The Whole30 is NOT A DIET. It’s a 30-day “experiment” to reset your body. It’s designed to help stop unhealthy eating cravings / habits, tame your sugar dragon and restore a healthy metabolism….all by eating WHOLE FOODS.

• After the 30 days, you’ll do a reintroduction of the foods you cut out (Ex: Dairy, Legumes, Grains, etc). Do not skip reintroduction! It will help you learn your Food Freedom.

• Some people do more than one round of Whole30 because their eating habits have gotten out of control again. Ideally, though, your end goal is to figure out your Food Freedom. (Not be on Whole30 forever). Food Freedom = Discovering the foods that are “worth it” to you. Once you figure that out, you probably don’t need to do another round :) unless you feel compelled to!

Read: “The Whole30: The 30-Day Guide to Health and Food Freedom”

• This book will prepare you for HOW to do the Whole30. It walks you through the rules of the program. It tells you how you may feel each day of the 30 days. It also gives a month’s full of recipes in the back.

• If you can’t buy this book, try checking it out from your library! Or see if any of your friends have it that you can borrow. It’s worth the read!
  
  

Scroll through the Whole30 website

• There’s a TON of resources on there that I found especially helpful. Even if you do not read the book above, at least check out the website!

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GROCERY STORE

I’m telling you now…it’s imperative you PREPARE for the Whole30! You want to set yourself up for success and prepping does that! This means planning out meals, buying said ingredients and then doing any meal prep you can, if possible, before the week gets going. The more you prepare ahead of time, the easier it becomes to reach for “good food” and the less likely you’ll “slip” and eat something NOT Whole30 while doing the program. Remember: If you eat something NOT Whole30, you have to RESTART.

• Plan to spend twice as long at the grocery store reading labels (at least for your first 1-2 trips)

• Don’t go into sticker shock! You are bound to spend more money that you’re used to, but trust me, your health is worth it!

Tastebuds…get ready! You’re about to try some new foods + ingredients you probably haven’t tasted before! Stay open-minded! Some things you’ll love, some you’ll pass next time.

• Ex: Thumbs Up = Ghee (I didn’t know what Ghee was before Whole30 — basically it’s clarified butter, so they have removed all of the milk from it. I was telling Justin tonight, I don’t even remember what butter tastes like because we use Ghee all the time now).

• Ex: Thumbs Down = Broccoli “Cheese” Dish (I wanted to like this so much, but the ‘cashew cheese’ wasn’t doing it for me. Also, some people RAVE about Nut Pods (creamer for your coffee). Again, I wanted to love it, but I just couldn’t get into the flavor.)

A great resource to get you started are what bloggers call “Grocery Store Guides”. These are basically posts of different grocery stores and the Whole30 foods they carry! (Always remember to 2x check the labels — food is constantly changing — but it’s a really good place to start)

• Ex: Guide to Aldi (@MelissasFoodFreedom)

• Ex: Guide to Costco (@MelissasFoodFreedom)

• Ex: Guide to Fresh Thyme (@MelissasFoodFreedom)

• Ex: Guide to Target (@MelissasFoodFreedom)

• Ex: Guide to Trader Joes (@MelissasFoodFreedom)

• Ex: Guide to Walmart (@MelissasFoodFreedom)

Find a couple sauces you like, and it will be a game changer!

• Several brands (Like Tessamae’s, Primal Kitchen and The New Primal Noble Made) have a lot of bottled Whole30 sauces. Some I like, some I wasn't a fan of.

  • My Favorites: Noble Made Medium Buffalo Sauce, Tessamae’s Ketchup

  • My Non-Favorites: Tessamae’s Ranch

• You can also make your own sauces / mayos! My all-time favorite dressing is called DUMP RANCH. I swear by this stuff, and to be completely honest, think it tastes better than regular ranch.

The BEST TIP I can give overall: KEEP IS SIMPLE

• Not every meal needs to be elaborate / gourmet / new recipe. Trust me, you are not going to want to spend hours upon hours in the kitchen.

• Easy foods I live off nowadays:

  • Meats: Burgers, pork chops, sausage (Pederson’s brand from Fresh Thyme) , salami, Skyline chili from the can, taco meat, eggs, hard boiled eggs, chicken, chicken wings (cooking them in the air fryer has been a game changer!)

  • Fats: Ghee, Bacon (Low sodium from Kroger OR Pederson’s brand from Fresh Thyme), Avocado Oil, Cashews, Pistachios

  • Veggies: Cucumbers, Peppers, Zucchini, Lettuce Wraps, Caramelized Onions, Spaghetti Squash, Sweet Potatoes, Potatoes (also made in the air fryer has been a game changer!)

  • Fruits: Apples, Bananas, Cuties, (they’re SO much easier to peel than full-size oranges), Kiwis, Grapes, Strawberries

  • Sauces: Dump Ranch, Whole30 Hot Sauce, Whole30 BBQ Sauce, Whole30 Ketchup, Unsweetened applesauce (I know it’s a fruit but thought it would be fun to put in the sauce category…hahah)

  • Drinks: Water, Unsweetened Starbucks Iced Coffee (32 oz from grocery store), Watermelon Wonder Synergy Kombucha (on occasion, don’t drink everyday), Unsweetened Tea (brewed at home, sometimes I’ll add a lemon or peach to the pitcher), Herbal Peppermint Tea (great for before bed)
    
    

Don’t overwhelm yourself with a new recipe every night of the week. What I did was make 1 new recipe a week! You should have plenty of leftovers for lunches (or even breakfasts) throughout the rest of the week

• Ex: Week 1 — Chili (Recipe in Whole30 book)

• Ex: Week 2 — Lazy Oven Meatballs

• Ex: Week 3 — Breakfast Egg Bake Casserole

• Ex: Week 4 — Buffalo Chicken Poppers

Remember to KEEP A BALANCED PLATE.

• I didn’t realize I was overeating fruits and needed more veggies until someone in the Whole30 FB group sent me this image!

• Whole 30 plate:

  • Veggies take up 2/3 of plate

  • Protein the size of your palm

  • Small amount of fats + fruits

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COMMUNITY

One of the many great things about the Whole30 is how established the community is. There’s hundreds of thousands of people (probably more like millions) who have done + are doing the Whole30. What does this mean?! They can be used as resources!

Join a Whole30 Facebook Group! This was another game changer for me.
(I think I’m in Whole30 BEGINNERS!)

• 9x out of 10 there’s someone in the group who is doing the Whole30 at the same time you are. It’s nice to follow along with other people!

• It’s also a great tool for when you have something going on, and need a question answered.

  • I felt like I got hit by a truck on Day 5 and was suffering from allergy symptoms. I wasn’t sure if it was from me getting sick, or it was my body adjusting to the Whole30. I also wasn’t really hungry and had only eaten 2 meals that day. It was great to get some feedback from others, who encouraged me to keep going and the Tiger Blood would be coming soon.

• Or heck, sometimes people share what they made for dinner that night and it gives you some ideas if you’re tired of eating the same thing all the time. That’s actually how I learned I could eat TACO SALADS!
  

Follow Whole30 accounts on social media!
Here are some of my favorites (From IG):

• @melissa_hartwig (Urban) — Co-Founder of the Whole30. She’s great at giving tough love. She’s incredibly intelligent. Her story is amazing! Speaking of stories, her IG stories hold a lot of wisdom and reminders on how to think about food.

• @melissasfoodfreedom — This isn’t THE Melissa (above) but this Melissa posts some of the best content! She’s the one who does the grocery store guides and has a ton of recipes that are SUPER SIMPLE and not very time consuming. I have thoroughly enjoyed her resources!

• @whole30 and @whole30recipes — Variety of Whole30 ambassadors post on these pages! When I was making 1 new recipe a week, I would actually scroll those their feeds to get some ideas + inspiration on what to make.

Ask for tips from others who have walked this path before!

• Do you have any friends who have done the Whole30? Even if you don’t know if you do, create a post on your social media and ask!

• I did this on Instagram and got a TON of great feedback, that I’ll leave below!

  • “My husband and I did the Whole30 at the beginning of this year and we loved it. We still incorporate most of the guidelines today. It really changes how you look at food. My suggestion is to find Whole30 Insta accounts. Also, it is pretty daunting in the beginning but it it totally manageable. You just have to plan! Some of our staples (still to this day) @wholesisters Dump Ranch (best ranch ever - we prefer it over any store bought these days) and @thewholesmiths Mayo. We LOVE avocado oil over olive oil and ghee (the butter you’re allowed to have) is so good to sauté any veggies on.””

  • “Make sure you know how to order Whole30 at restaurants because life still happens!”

  • “I LOVE THE WHOLE30!!! It was definitely the most difficult things I’ve done as I was the only one in my house doing it. So, I suggest roping in a roomie or BF to help. Meal prepping is a must and there are tons of recipes that are quite simple. I loved the chili!”

  • “Plan plan plan. Tessamae’s makes some compliant sauces and salad dressing, if you don’t want to make your own. Trust the system — it really educates you on what works and what doesn’t work with your body. Chomps meat sticks are the best thing ever. Those with some raw nuts — awesome event or travel snack. It’s pricey — but if you plan, you can get a lot of bang for your buck.”
    
    

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ACCOUNTABILITY

Find someone to do the Whole30 with you! Perhaps your partner, a roommate, a colleague.

• Note: Just because they won’t do it with you now doesn’t mean they won’t ever want to.
  My boyfriend basically said “HECK NO” during my first two rounds of Whole30. But! After seeing my results, he’s the one who actually prompted the next round of Whole30. I couldn’t believe it!!!
  

If you can’t find a Whole30 buddy (or even if you can), let the world know you are doing the Whole30!

• Post on social media! Tell your friends! Family! Co-workers!

• When people know you are doing this, I’ve found it to be so much easier and they don’t question why you packed your lunch / brought a cooler full of food / tempt you with something they’ve made. And better yet, if they are cooking, they may even accommodate you and make zoodles instead of noodles 😊 (THANK YOU, RACHELLE!)
  

Journal your meals / How you feel

• I did this my first round and found it incredibly helpful to have a log of what I ate. The format I used was: Round __, Day __, Meal __. I would take a picture and post to my Insta Stories! I also created a Whole30 post each night before bed, with the photos I took from my meals.
  

  I would document how I was feeling, that way I could go back and reference it. (I totally felt the “Whole30 hangover” the first week, when I was getting used to all the sugar being cut from my diet). Posting helped keep me accountable, because I had others watching me!
  

• If you don’t post on social media, no problem! You can also journal in your own book.

There’s no alcohol allowed on Whole30.

• One phrase Melissa Urban has come up with, is saying, “I’m not drinking right now.” She’s found that adding those 2 words at the end of the sentence prompts for fewer, if not any questions at all, about her choice not to drink. Just another tip I thought I’d pass along!

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LAST WORDS BEFORE YOU BEGIN

Choose dates that work for you. Really look ahead and make sure there’s nothing BIG standing in your way, where you wouldn’t want to be on Whole30.

• For example: Melissa doesn’t encourage doing the Whole30 around the holidays, because she wants you to enjoy those family recipes, if you consider it “worth it” food.

• Be intentional on when you begin, so you can set yourself up for success from the get-go! Look ahead at: vacations, weddings, other special events. Know that you CAN do Whole30 around life. (I brought a cooler with me when I traveled during my Whole30).

Document your journey!

• Before the Whole30: Take measurements. Take pictures.

• During the Whole30: Journal your days! Record how you’re feeling! (Especially during the reintroduction process).

• After the Whole30: Take measurements again. Take progress pictures.
  Grab the Non-Scale Victories (NSVs) sheet from the Whole30 website and check off all the victories you’ve felt along your journey!
  
  

Stay inspired

• Remember you can use the Whole30 Facebook group(s) to keep you motivated! From time to time when I felt stuck and wanted to give up, I would scroll and look at people’s progress pics and read about their NSVs. It keep me inspired to keep going!

Refer to the Whole30 calendar

• There’s a popular image that floats around, to give you an idea of how you’ll feel on the Whole30. I found it to be pretty spot on when I did the Whole30. Justin didn’t feel that way, but feel free to use it as a resource as you get started.

Good Book to Read DURING Whole30: Food Freedom Forever

• I was on a Whole30 FB group and saw a lady’s post about how she did 4 round of Whole30 before she caught onto the idea of Food Freedom Forever. It didn’t hit her until she read this book when on her 4th round.

• When I heard that, I went and bought it immediately, because I had been struggling with this too. It’s an amazing read and I definitely recommend! It reframes the way you think about food, reminds you that food’s purpose is to FUEL you and makes you ask the question, “Is this worth it?”

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From Me to You:

I wish I could say I had it “all figured out” after I did the first round of Whole30. I was good for a little while, but then I slipped and went back to old habits. It wasn’t until my 4th Round of Whole30 and reading “Food Freedom Forever” that I finally feel like I am catching on to what Food Freedom is.

I wish I could tell you, after 30 days, you’re going to come out a CHANGED human being. But this isn’t a 30-day fix. It’s not a “do this now” and “my life is COMPLETELY changed.”

It’s an ongoing process. It’s not a fad diet. It’s a way of living. Once you realize this (and experience it first-hand), you’ll be well on your way. Anyone can tell you anything. It’s not until you experience yourself, when you’ll realize what this is all about. With that, I’ll leave you with this:

You CAN do it!

In the famous words of Melissa (Hartwig) Urban, “It is not hard. Don’t you dare tell us this is hard. Quitting heroin is hard. Beating cancer is hard. Drinking your coffee black. Is. Not. Hard.”

Don’t let the Whole30 overwhelm you. Take it day-by-day! You are strong and will succeed! And if you get down, don’t stay down. Give yourself grace and then get right back up and start again. I believe in you! You got this, my friend!

Side Note:
I always said, “There’s no way I could ever drink my coffee black.” And guess what?! Now I love it! Give yourself a chance to try things differently….you never know what may happen!

Master Meal Planner + Grocery Store Shopper

As many of you know, 2017 has been the year of #ARecipeAWeek. That means that each week for a year, I've been cooking a new dish! With that, I have learned to become a "Master" Meal Planner and Grocery Store Shopper.  

Wanna know the funny thing?
Up until this year, I had never sat down and made a list for the grocery store. I didn't know it was a "thing". I would literally show up at Kroger and buy whatever looked good to stock the fridge (and by golly, hopefully I had eaten a meal right before I went or I would buy every. single. thing.) Then, after ALL OF THAT time shopping and money spent, I would usually end up eating frozen pizza or tacos for dinner every night because the fresh food I purchased didn't have a plan. I would waste SO MUCH food because I would forget about it, it would spoil and then I would kick myself later because it went bad. 

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Enter 2017. Times started to change. I learned about the whole concept of Meal Planning. I also learned the value of grocery shopping every week vs. whenever. To do all of this....I needed a LIST. I needed to PLAN it all out. 

So I made this handy, dandy tool I like to call my "Grocery List" (super fancy, I know). Haha.
Inside, you will find 3 different pages:

1. Meals for the Week - where you write what you're making each day!

2. Grocery List - where you write what you're buying for that week!

3. All Meal Ideas - where you can keep track of all the meals you know how to make, so when you are stuck on ideas, you have a place to generate ideas!
   

This template works well for me! And it may just work well for you, too! I've had several people request a copy, so I thought I'd make a post to share it with y'all. 

If you use my grocery list, I can promise you this. You will have a plan for your meals so you will most likely eat healthier, not waste as much food, and don't have to think about "what's for dinner" each night. It's all laid out in front of you. Print it out and hang it on the fridge, so everyone else knows what's for dinner, too! 

>> CLICK HERE TO GET YOUR FREE COPY OF MY MEAL PLANNING / GROCERY LIST <<

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TIPS: 

• Check out this "completed" version, if you need an example on how it works!
  

• I would definitely recommend starting with the SCHEDULE column in the "Meals for the Week" tab BEFORE planning everything out. Especially if you have other people you are cooking for. Write down what's going on that week, so you know what meals would be best for each day.
  
  For me, I put J's work schedule (since it varies) so I know if he's working the day or night. This helps me because if he's working a late night, I make a simple meal. If he's home, we may grill out or make a "fancier" meal we have more time for. Or heck, we may have a Date Night and I write that on the schedule, too. "Out to Eat"
  

• I personally like to plan meals EACH week! It's super simple to think ahead 7 days. When you try to plan for several weeks ahead, it can get a little intimidating and overwhelming.
  

• Pick a day to plan + shop + prep and try to keep it a routine! For me, Sunday's are usually my day, unless of course I'm traveling and not home. Make it work for you!
  

• On the Grocery List page, I estimate how much each item will cost so I have an idea of how much I will be spending when I go to the store. It's helpful for budgeting!
  

• Usually I just plan out DINNERS on the "Meals for the Week" tab, but I do have a small box for notes where I can write down lunch / breakfast ideas. Hey, make it work for you! If you need to change it at all, go right ahead.
  

• Any questions? Let a girl know!
  I hope you enjoy your new meal prep + grocery list!!!!

Lyft in a Nutshell

Today was Day 1 of driving Lyft. 

Lesson 1: Good things are scary. Do them anyway. 
I mean, I know it's only Day 1 but my first thought after coming home was, "Why didn't I do this sooner?!?"
#1 - The money was easy!
#2 - The people are so incredibly awesome, and all so different.
#3 - The rides are like a mystery. You never know where you're going go to go, or where you'll end up. It's actually such a cool concept. 

Lesson 2: The best way to learn is to do. 
I had no idea how to operate the Lyft app, especially considering my "mentor training" was last August. A whole year ago! But I peeled back the hot pink Lyft sticker, stuck it in the upper, right-corner on my car, turned on the app, did a test drive, took a deep breath, and put myself in "online" mode. Before you know it, I went from feeling like an amateur to feeling very confident behind the Lyft app. Really, you learn by doing! 

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Day 1 Stats:
4 Rides. 3 hours, 24 minutes. $64.15

I mean, the stats are great and all.
But, my favorite part was the people:

(1) Shirley - Mammogram ($5, 10 minutes). Sat in the backseat. Very friendly. We talked about her day. Her granddaughter drives for Lyft / Uber / Door Dash. Sorrowed together about Texas and Hurricane Harvey, and all the devastation going on down there. She told me about how the Lyft driver who picked her up earlier that day, was his first ride ever, and how he accidentally canceled the ride request when dropping her off. I didn't admit it was mine, but I'm glad she told me, so I didn't make the same mistake he did. Lol. 

(2) Debby (who ordered the ride for a gentlemen she interviewed) - Jewish Federation to Airport. He's a Lyft driver. I told myself I was going to tell no one it was my first day driving (because you should never admit it's your first day). But Mr. Vegas told me he drives and was asking me all kinds of questions, and I just flat out admitted, it was Day 1, Trip 2 for me. He was super tired, but super talkative (wanted to stay awake until he got on the airplane). We conversed about driving Lyft, his interview and VEGAS (I just booked a trip there today!).  

(3) Andrea - Work to Home (Tipped me $5!!! So generous.) Also, the person I talked least to in the car. 

(4) Leeya - Home to Grocery and Back (Multiple trips are a thing??). Such a sweet lady. We talked about the grocery stores we shopped at (Hers are Kroger for meats, Walmart for produce and water, Aldi for the other things) and buying cars (not having a "car note", her car breaking down in April and she's been Lifting since, her saving up $4,000 to put down for a Chevy Cruze, which she's going to buy in 2 weeks), and I shared with her my #ARecipeAWeek project (in which now she told me she wants to try and make the parm, garlic crusted chicken with zucchini and spaghetti squash) and I forget, she's a music teacher! Tipped me dos dollars!

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The other neat thing about Lyft, is I "cashed out" and $54 was deposited within an hour to my bank account. I came home and researched if driving was worth it (considering gas mileage, wear and tear on car, taxes, etc.) and I decided YES. Gotta make sure to put 20% of what I make away for when tax season comes around, but I learned you can claim your mileage, Apple Music, Food / Water you buy when you drive, etc! Thank goodness I've been documenting these things with another new favorite app, Daily Budget. (We'll save that for another post). 

Going back out tomorrow AM during Prime Time. 

Catch ya on the road! 

Enter CULITIVATING a Garden

Enter the first spring as a new homeowner.

You are ecstatic you have your own yard. On the first nice day, you run to Lowe's and put a half dozen plants in your cart. You want to begin a garden. You hustle home with the greens and dig a hole just deep enough that the biodegradable bucket rests on top of the soil. YOU DID IT. YOU PLANTED A GARDEN.

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Enter beginning of summer.

You are watering the plants, here and there. To be honest, they have kind of escaped your mind. Until one day, you look out your bedroom window and see GIANT PLANTS. Did they grow overnight?! You think it's cool and this gardening thing is legit.

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Enter mid-summer.

You take a walk to the community garden blocks away from your house. You see it thriving. The fruits and veggies and flowers are soaring high in the sky. There is actual food on these plants! You are quite amazed. You wonder what the secret is, to such a fruitful crop. You think, "I should probably water my plants more often than just 'when it crosses my mind.'" You create a list of 7 things you aim to do everyday. Watering the garden makes the list. 

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Enter two weeks later.

You are confused. You have watered the garden daily, but there's nothing to show for it. No sign of vegetables. You notice a couple things: (1) One of your plants is toppling over. It needs support. (2) The hose nozzles is great and all but the water comes out so fast, it's putting a ton of pressure on your babies. Maybe using a watering can or screw on an spout with different watering settings would be helpful. (3) Some of the leaves on these plants have small holes in them. Oh vey.

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Enter today.

You decide to you have two options. You can continue to do what you've been doing as a "gardener." Or you can cultivate your garden. You have recently been inspired by @laracasey's book "Cultivate", where she brought a four-year old almost dead orchid back to life. You saw the picture of this orchid on her Instagram story yesterday, and it is indeed, alive and well. You think, if she could bring an almost dead four year old plant back to life, you could surely bring a three month old garden back to life. 

You decide to CULTIVATE your garden. You begin by going to the garage to get a shovel, a bag of soul, a pair of scissors, a wooden paint stir stick and yarn. You have four plants to tend to. You have four plants to dig up. You have four plants to replant, deeper into the soil where the roots can grow. You have four plants to prune. You have four plants to strip the bug bitten leaves. You have four plants to make new again. 

And that's what you do. You begin at one end of the garden and you work your way down. With the first plant, you realize just HOW BETTER it looks and you are excited to get the other three plants in better living conditions. The red pepper, green pepper and zucchini plant have been tended to. You start on your last plant and...YOU FIND A BABY CUCUMBER! Hope is not lost. 

You realize that cultivating these plants are so, so good for them. And even if no other vegetation comes from your plants, you are going to work your hardest to make sure that cucumber grows and grows. You have a feeling, though, that soon you'll begin to see more fruits appear. 
 

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To Be Continued...

Top 10 "Rules of the Job"

It's been ONE year since I SUPERVISED my very, first Qtego event! This time last year, I nervously drove 3 miles down the road from the office, to a festival where I would be running my very first event! All on my own.  

Looking back, I tried to keep CALM. But like a duck, I was cool and collected above the surface, but my feet were treading underwater! I left the printers at the office and had to backtrack to get them, I accidentally sent out a broadcast message that didn't include the EXACT closing time of the auction, and I had to call my boss at least once for help. One of my part-timers even told me months later that she didn't know if she was going to like me, because I was so uptight. Hahaha. Now we're BFFs. 


Yesterday, I worked that very same event. And let me tell you, here I am! One year, 121 events and many lesson learned later! Every day I work, I learn something new. Along the way, I've jotted down many notes. I've sorted and combined them to develop the Top 10 "Rules of the Job." And I'd say these are all universal, so please, read and pass along! It's my hope that they help you, as much as they've help me! 

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1. Under Promise, Over Deliver
People like you to live up to your expectations. And when you SURPASS them, their mind is completely blown away. So start on an even playing field, and then shoot for the stars. They will be ecstatic when you go "Above and Beyond" your promises. Not to mention, it will keep you SANE because you won't be spending x-amount of time trying to figure out how to get there, because "you've promised it" so you MUST make it happen!

2. Set FALSE deadlines
Let's face it. Deadlines are meant to be broken. Not many people follow them. (And if you do, you're the true MVP, and WE ALL LOVE you). So make sure when planning, that you give yourself some EXTRA time. This will cause less stress on all. 

3. NEVER admit it's your first time doing something. 
No one likes an amateur. But that doesn't mean they have to know you are one. As my mom always says, "What I don't know, won't hurt me." Same with your job. What THEY don't know, won't hurt them, either! So never, EVER, admit that it's your first time doing a task. If you don't know the answer, simply tell the person you're working with that you aren't quite sure, but you will find out and get back with them. 

4. Form PARTNERSHIPS, not "clients"
They are more than just "clients." They have a name, just like you do, and you should use it. When you begin calling your partners by their name, you develop relationships that builds TRUST. And really, it's just better than way. 

5. Eliminate the Extra Step
If you ever have become the middle man, STOP. DROP. AND ROLL that information back to the two people you're working in between. It's not your place to be "stuck in the middle," so get out before you're too far in! 

6. Get rid of TOO MANY chefs in the kitchen
Every person under the sun does NOT need to be on the call or in a meeting with you. Every person's time is valuable. So find out EARLY ON exactly who NEEDS to be working with you. From the "get go," eliminate those people who has a role that doesn't fit with what you're doing. Because every person has an opinion. And when we get down to the bottom line, it's best to keep the final decisions between you and the coach. Not the entire team. Trust me, it will save you from unneeded conversations and a constant headache! 

7. Embrace being the expert
You do what you do, because you are good at it. Seriously! You do your job day-in and day-out, so make sure to relay that to the person you're working with. If they want to do something a certain way, don't tell them HOW it's going to run, but do offer suggestions. And when they say, "You're the expert, you tell me," take this compliment and run with it! Because honestly, you do know best. 

8. Respond PROMPTLY to (almost) every email you receive
On the other side of the email in your Inbox, there's someone on the other end waiting for a response. Whether it's "Got it!" or "Hang tight -- I'll have that coming your way shortly!" or "I've received your email, and will get back to you as soon as possible!" make sure to respond. And, the faster the response, the better rapport you will build. 

9. Arriving Early = Arriving On-Time
Coming from the person who tends to be "fashionably late," your job is NOT the place for that. Arriving EARLY means arriving ON-TIME. As mentioned earlier, people's time is valuable. Don't keep them waiting. And don't put the stress on yourself, that you have to constantly be in "Rush mode."

10. It's OK, to put the computer away
At the end of the day, the work will be there when you return. You are FIRST a person, and then a(n) [INSERT JOB TITLE HERE]. Your job may be a top priority, but it's not your only priority. So make sure you balance your workload and your personal life! 

You Can Talk to Strangers. But Don't Ever Pick Them Up.

I did one of the scariest things of my life today. As my best friend put it, "It was sweet. But it was stupid." And I couldn't agree more with her....

I picked up a stranger. 

From the middle of the street. 
He got in my car.
And I drove him 39 blocks. 
And it was the longest 39 blocks of my life. 
And will be something I never, ever do again. 

Let me explain myself....
I woke up ready to take on the world and everything I had to do today!

My first stop: Speedway to buy a gift card, and pick up a cup of coffee.
My second stop: the Post Office to drop off several packages.
My third stop: the corner of 19th Street and College. 

That third stop was suppose to be the Qtego office. But that changed quickly, when I was pulling out of the Post Office parking lot and driving down the icy, one-way street. A man, with a blue, plaid flannel jacket was standing in the middle of the street. I could either slow down, or I could hit him, because he sure as heck wasn't moving. 

There was no room for me to turn around. So, I slowed down and inched closer. Before I knew it, I rolled down my passenger side window, a half an inch, to talk to him. All he kept saying was that he was cold. He was cold, and he wanted a ride home. I asked him where he lived and (I thought) he said "1901 College."

My thoughts soon became blurry:
"Where am I?"
"What am I doing?"
"College Ave. isn't too far away."
"I think."
"I want to help him, but do I?,"
"Do I let a stranger in my car?"
"What if he has a gun?"
"He looks harmless."
"But don't they all."
"Who is they?"
"Broadripple had a recent shooting."
"I'm in Broadripple."
"It's daylight."
"I should be fine."
"It's below freezing."
"He's cold."
"He keeps repeating that he is cold."
"He has a home."
"I just need to get him there."

So before I knew it, I let him in my car. Under one condition: He had to sit in the back seat. (Now looking back on this, that probably wasn't the best idea either.)

He got in, I put my car in drive and then it hit me. I picked up a stranger. 


He told me to drive straight. I did. But I didn't like it. I didn't like being told what to do. 

He asked my name. I said Ashley. I think he said his was Seth. Or Shane. 

He asked my age. I said old enough. I asked him his. He is 36. 

He asked if I had kids. I said no. I didn't want to know if he did. I didn't ask. 

He noticed my CD collection and asked if I like music. I said yes. I asked what his favorite music was. He said hip-hop. He asked me. I said country. 

A client called me during this and asked if it was a good time to talk. I asked if I could call her back in 30 minutes. I hung up, and thought to myself, I wonder if that's the last person I will ever talk to. 

I told him I had to go to work. I thought about pulling over then. But his questions distracted me. 

He asked what I did for work. I said technology. He assumed I worked for Microsoft. I corrected him. He asked where work was. I said the North Side. 

I asked him why he was up in BroadRipple. He lives so far South. He told me he was visiting a friend. A friend to give him money for his meds. The friend wasn't home. He asked me for money for his medicine. I said no. I have no money to give you. I am giving you a ride home. 

I kept driving. I drove 39 blocks. Until I reached 19th street. He started to doze off. I think the warmth of the car was putting him to sleep. I had my eyes more on the rear view mirror that the street in front of me. I never took an eye off of him. I couldn't. 

I got to 19th and College and asked whether to turn left or right. He said left. I turned left and pulled over. I told him I was letting him out there. He begged me to drive him to his house. I told him, "I drove you this far. You can walk the rest of the way." He kept insisting I take him to his house. It was cold. I told him I would drive one block further, past the Church on the corner. He agreed. I stopped the car at the Church's alley. He still insisted I drive down the alley to his house. I asked him nicely, to please get out of my car. He finally did.

He opened the car door, and slowly got out. His hands were so dry and swollen. He took each of his hands, and wrapped them around his legs to move them from the car to the ground. The last thing he said to me, "What's with you people?"

As he got out, I started to cry. I cried  because:

(1) It bothered me that I was so scared of a guy who just needed a helping hand. 

(2) That he really could have been bad news, but I couldn't tell. 

(3) I was going to be okay. 

Driving from 19th Street to the office, was the first time in a long, long time where I did not feel like me. I felt lost and confused. I couldn't figure out what had just happened. I didn't like it. Something wasn't right. With him. With the situation. With all of it. I'm still not sure what to make out of this.
 

But one thing is certain: 
It's okay to talk to strangers. But don't ever pick them up. 
 

I don't need to be scolded. I have some great people in my life that already took care of that.

I know it wasn't smart. It might have been sweet. But it was certainly stupid. It will be something I never, ever do again.

I'm sharing this with you, so you don't think to do it either. I never want anyone to feel like I felt today. Like you can't control the situation you are in. Feeling helpless. And scared.

We learn best from each other. So take this story and tuck it in the back of your mind. I never thought I would pick up a stranger, but I did. And if you ever find yourself in a similar situation, think back to this story and just keep driving.