Spring Cleaning

Y’all, I have started SPRING CLEANING in my house.

I don’t know about you, but my Spring Cleaning isn’t your “standard cleaning.”

My “standard cleaning” looks like this:

• Pick up (the easy part)

• Do a light dusting (sometimes)

• Sweep the floors (or have Rhonda…our Roomba…do this for me)

• Swiffer WetJet (if time allows)

• Laundry (I don’t mind doing it, but gosh do I despise putting it away)

• Bathrooms (AKA use that Toilet Wand)

I am no longer one who gets on all fours to deep clean each week (I used to do that until I learned to "bless the mess” — More about that here!). And I definitely am not using much, if any, elbow grease. Half the time, I’m only doing a couple rooms at a time. It’s a miracle if my ENTIRE house is GLOWING all at once. Because let’s be real, that’s not reality.

If you’re a mama, your kiddos have probably already destroyed one room as you’ve move onto the next. (Trust me, I remember doing it to my Mom — My bad, Ma!) In my case, @MannyTheDoodle has usually gotten into his toy bins and has left a trail of toys across the house. Or worse, he’s tracked mud in from outside, right after the floors have been swept + mopped. And we can’t forget the men, or significant others, or roommates in our lives. Love them to death but that blanket you’ve folded? The clean sink? Yep, no longer.

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Spring Cleaning takes your weekly (or who I am kidding, monthly) cleaning to a WHOLE NEW LEVEL. It’s something that happens once a year (maybe twice, if my house is lucky) and it involves all the “standard cleaning” items above, but also:

• Thoroughly going through the STUFF in EACH ROOM of the house

  • AKA - if you don’t use it anymore, toss it or put in the yard sale pile.

  • In the kitchen, you’re checking expiration dates. In the bathroom, you’re swapping out the moldy shower liner for a clean one. In the office, you’re filing or pitching (or better yet, recycling) the mail that’s stacked up from the past half year. In the toy bins, you’re going through unused or broken toys and clearing house!

• The light dusting? Yes, let’s rename this to INTENSE SCRUBBING.

  • We’re getting off the crud that’s built up on the….shower, sink, cabinets, fridge, walls, baseboards, etc.

  • Yes, I said baseboards. They will no longer look gray from the dust coating them. Their white paint will soon come back to life. Oh and the windows? Who knew how much black stuff came off those bad boys until you spray them down with Windex + take a cloth to them. A black handprint will show on your towel and you will feel real grody. But good. Grody good.

• The fun part: REORGANIZING + REARRANGING

  • At least in my eyes, this is the FUN part. It’s my cup of tea. Once the room is starting to shape up, you can “change it up” a bit by moving things around. It can be BIG changes, like moving furniture. Or it can be MINI changes, like putting away your toaster + blender (since you haven’t used them in awhile) to give yourself some more counter space.

  • Before you turn off the lights from the room you’re working on, you’ll get a real sense of pride! It’s spotless! It couldn’t look any better! Onto the next….

And then you repeat this for…
Every. Room. In. Your. Home.

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Spring Cleaning is a LOT OF WORK, as you already know. It’s not something you can do in one day (unless you’re Superwoman… or have a ton of help!) And even then, getting it done in a weekend is stretching it. At least for me. If you think otherwise, though, can I hire you? :)

My Dad always taught me, “If you’re going to do a job, do it right or not at all.” More about that here! So with Spring Cleaning, I like to take my time in each room of the house to make sure I’m doing it right!

However…the thought of “EVERYTHING I MUST DO” really started to stress me out. This coming weekend is the neighborhood yard sale, and I am in no way / shape / form ready for it. The last couple year’s, I’ve have my house spotless and clutter free. I’ve taken all my “junk” that others may consider “treasures” and sorted it on tables, for them to rummage through at the garage sale. That’s usually the “deadline” I impose on myself for when my Spring Cleaning needs to be wrapped up. Before the community sale!

This year, though? It may not happen. It may happen. But probably not.
(The clock is ticking, it’s two days ‘til Friday and I’ve got 2 rooms + a bathroom + a garage to sort through).

But you know what? I’m totally fine with it taking longer. And after some thought…

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My mindset shifted from:
HOW AM I GOING TO GET ALL OF THIS DOWN BEFORE MAY 3RD?

To:
WHY DOES IT NEED TO GET DONE BEFORE MAY 3RD?!?

And here’s the kicker:
IT DOESN’T!

If there’s anything I’ve taken away from my 2019 Spring Cleaning adventure (other than a couple clean rooms, so far!), it’s to enjoy the journey. (Who says cleaning can’t be fun?!) Enjoy going through each room. Just like you should enjoy each and every day of life! If you have something else going on a day during the week, or over the weekend, it’s OK to take a break. Breathe! Go at your own pace. It will all be there tomorrow!

The only “deadline” you have is the one you set for yourself.
Drop the deadline! Your house doesn’t mind. Your sanity will thank you!

I needed this encouragement myself, and if you’re in a similar place, hopefully these words resonate with you! <3 <3 <3

Book Tour x2

I have now been to two book tours in Chicago. Both were totally different, but equally incredible!

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Book Tour #1 —
“Girl, Wash Your Face” (GWYF) by Rachel Hollis

Date: Sunday, January 28, 2018
Location: Evereve, Oak Brook, IL (Near Chicago)

MORE ABOUT THE BOOK:

GWYF is what I would consider a “self-help” / personal development book. Those types of books are what fills most of my bookshelves! It’s what I typically gravitate too.

You see, I had been following Rachel Hollis for several years on Instagram before she wrote this book. I was in awe of her work and attitude on life! She made me laugh. She made me cry. She dropped truth bombs across her social media platforms. And when she wrote GWYF, I knew I needed a copy.

Even better?! I actually got 3 copies of the book! (Why THREE copies, Ashley?!) Oh, I’m glad you asked :)

You see, Rachel reached out to her Tribe (Internet community) to get a group together that would help launch her book. I became part of that launch team! That meant I was sent a digital copy of the book ahead of time, in exchange for writing an honest book review. There were also a couple hundred folks that would receive a hard copy (what they refer to as an “Advanced Reader Copy”). I was fortunate enough to be selected for an ARC. After reading the book, I wrote my book review.

Here’s what my review on GoodReads said:

MORE ABOUT THE BOOK TOUR:

Just when I thought being on the launch team was SUPER RAD, Rachel and her team shared there would be a book tour for GWYF! Oh. My. Gosh. I was pretty much fan-girling because I would finally get to meet my “Instagram inspiration” Rachel Hollis!

With her book tour, she picked 6-10 cities across the US and for the most part, did her tour BEFORE the book launched. That meant that most of the people (I was an exception) had NOT read or received the book ahead of the event. There was a ticket price associated with coming to her book event (I think it was $50 / person). However, you did get a copy of the book, cookies + adult beverages, a shopping experience at Evereve (plus 15% discount) and of course, you were able to meet @MsRachelHollis and get your book signed!

Oh, and Rachel likes themes. So each of her book tour locations had a “dress theme”. The Chicago stop: GOLD!

I invited my BFF Alex to come with me! She was also on the Rachel train, maybe not “as much” as me, but still enjoyed her work. Alex’s Mom lives in NWI (Northwest Indiana) so we met at her house before driving over to the event. We stopped at Portillo’s (if you’re from Chicago area, you already know!) and got lunch before continuing the journey to our exciting evening ahead!

Leaving lunch, I clicked on the address from the digital ticket and we were on our way to Chicago! We were getting closer (so our GPS showed), but when we pulled up to where we thought we should be, we ended up at a mobile home park…..”WHERE ARE WE?! There’s no way Rachel’s book tour is here.”

After some frantic digging, I learned that Apple Maps took us to the WRONG location — It took us to 437 Oakbook DRIVE. Not 437 Oakbook CENTER! We drove an entire hour north PAST where the location actually was. Jiminy Crickets! We hopped back in the car and headed back toward Chicago…..arriving to Rachel’s tour an hour late!

While we missed her talk, we could still meet Rachel and get our books signed! Our numbers in line: 94 and 95, out of 100. Hahah. Rachel stayed though, until she met every single person there!

I remember her saying that people had asked, “Don’t you get tired of this?” And she made a comment that she’s been on the other side, when no one has came to her book tour. And she will stay as long as it takes to meet every single person. Because they are the reason she is here!

Driving home that night, I thought how perfect of a night it was. Even with it’s little imperfections <3 It made my heart so happy and definitely gave a story to share! Haha!

I even got my book and goals notebook signed by THE one and only, Rachel Hollis!

POST BOOK TOUR:

Just a little side story:

Long ago (10 years ago), Rachel set a goal that she would become a New York Times Bestseller. She had already written three fiction books and two cookbooks. And she was bound and determined to make the list with “Girl, Wash Your Face.” She promoted the book SO MUCH through her online community, in a way that made you WANT to buy her book. Not pushy and not "slimy.”

When her book released on February 6th, she waited to get the news. She ended up finding out that she didn’t make “the list” and though disappointed, wrote a long post, thanking everyone who had worked so hard to try and help achieve her goal with her. She promised she would be back to try again with the next book. One day, she WOULD become a NYT Bestseller!

Well…..On April 18th (2 months and 2 weeks after the book released), Rachel received some very exciting news! She made the list!!! She didn’t even realize it was possible to make the NYT Bestseller list AFTER the book was out. But she did it!!!

It was super cool seeing + being a part of her journey.

If anyone is an inspiration, it’s that woman! She doesn’t just talk about her goals. She commits to them and makes them happen, time and time again! Since GWYF, she’s also released another book, “Girl, Stop Apologizing.” And what do ya know! Another NYT Bestseller!!! Just amazing!

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Book Tour #2 — “Where the Crawdads Sing” (WTCS) by Delia Owens

Date: Saturday, April 20, 2019
Location: The Book Stall, Winnetka, IL (Near Chicago)

MORE ABOUT THE BOOK:

You know how I said personal development books are what’s usually up my alley? WTCS is anything but that! It’s a fiction novel that I “randomly saw on the end cap at Barnes & Noble and the cover looked appealing.” I’m honestly SO grateful that it did, because I did a quick flip and went to the counter to purchase. The book lived up to it’s book cover — it drew me in and I read this book in 6 days flat. That’s how good it is!!!

I honestly needed a “break” from what Justin likes to refer to as my “self-help” collection. I’m all about personal development, but sometimes, I think your brain needs a break from it. And WTCS did just that for me!

The book tells the story of a murder mystery and a celebration of nature. The way Delia wrote the book was super captivating to me, because the chapters flip back and forth from different years. It tells the story of Kya growing up nearly alone in the marsh, and also brings in pieces of the murder of Chase Andrews. I held my breath until the very last page, when everything was revealed. It kept me on the edge of my seat, begging for more, more, more.

MORE ABOUT THE BOOK TOUR:

After I finished the book, I made a post on my Instagram account. You see, one of my goals this year is to read 12 books. This would be the very first book I finished and I was documenting the experience!

In doing so, I tagged the author and stumbled upon her social media accounts. It was then that I learned that she was actually about to go on tour for her book, and what do you know, there was a stop in Chicago! I knew I just *HAD* to go!

(Only this time, I wouldn’t make the same mistake twice, and I would double check to make sure I had the correct address! LOL)

The interesting thing about this book tour, that was different from the last one I went to, well…there were a couple things:

• This book tour was at an independent bookstore (Which makes sense since it is, well, a book! Rachel’s was at Evereve, a clothing store, that she partnered with for her book tour).

• This book tour occurred way AFTER the book was published. (A gentleman who worked at the bookstore said how unique the tour was, because it’s happening months after the book was released. I’m guessing many of the book tours are BEFORE / AS the book is released, similar to GWYF. WTCS has actually been on the NYT Bestseller list now for 32 weeks and counting. It was on the 31st week <7 months after the book was published> that I saw Delia on her tour.)

• From what I could tell online, this tour was FREE. (I wasn’t sure if I needed tickets, but when I went the day of, no tickets were necessary! After talking to the manager at the bookstore, he explained that this book tour was unique because the book had been on the market for so long (as mentioned above). A lot of times, they will have you buy the book for your signing order, but since this book had been out so long, it operated a little differently. When people arrived, they gave you a “signing group” which was a little different than Rachel’s where you got a # of what order you’d go in to get an autograph. It worked similar to Southwest’s boarding groups (A first, B next and C last). They kept the lines moving and honestly, I don’t think I waited more than 10-15 minutes to meet Delia (being in Group B). I did feel compelled to buy SOMETHING from the book store for hosting, so I bough a super neat, felt, hot air ballon bird house….I’m making a birdhouse tree in my backyard! Like my Grandpa has in his!)

• The audience was a bit different! (I would consider it an “older” generation — when you looked in the crowd! The GWYF tour was made up of primary women, probably in their 20s, 30s, 40s. That being said, I met some FABULOUS people at Delia’s book tour and had some really fun + interesting conversations. Let me tell ya though….older people are SHOCKED when you tell them you drove from Indy (3.5 hours away). Their reactions, “Just for this?!” Yes, “just for this!” Whereas at Rachel’s tour, a ton of people made the lengthy road trip!)

• Q+A (One thing I really liked that Delia had was a Q+A forum. It was fun to hear the questions people had and listen to how she responded to them. This could be something Rach did, but since I missed that whole section, who knows! Haha.)

MORE ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

One thing I was specifically fascinated with at the book tour was learning more about Delia as a person. You see, with Rachel, I had already been following her on social media and I knew much about her life.

Once I finished WTCS, I started following Delia on IG and Facebook. But I honestly didn’t know much about her as a person until book tour day. The reason I was so fascinated about hearing her background, because I realized just how much it shaped her novel. A couple reasons why:

• Delia explained when she was a child, her mother would encourage her to REALLY go experience nature. To go way out, “where the crawdads sing.” When I heard that, I gasped. It’s crazy how things in your life come full circle!
  

• The novel took place in the outer banks of North Carolina. When Delia was young, her family took many vacations here, so she was very familiar with the setting. She didn’t have to do a ton of research on the location, really, because of the experiences she had during her younger years.
  

• Delia lived in Africa for 20+ years. She explained that while it was a phenomenal experience, she did feel quite lonely and isolated during that time. She missed “her people” back in the “States.” I definitely could feel a similar parallel with the main character she developed, Kya.
  

• One of the most outstanding facts (in my opinion), that this is Delia’s first ever fiction piece! And it made the New York Time’s Bestseller List. Not an easy feat to accomplish! While it was her first fiction story, she did have a lot of experience writing from the research she did as a scientist. Her and her husband, Mark Owens, actually co-authored several publications. She told us while it was different writing, that prepared her for writing this book. As well as reading!
  

• It was also fun learning that Delia sold the rights to her book to Reese Witherspoon, to produce her book into a movie! I am PUMPED to see the movie, after now reading the book. Most movies I’ve watched that were based on a book, I’ve never read the book first. So that will be the cherry on top!

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In Conclusion,

Like I first mentioned, these two book tours were very different from one another!
But it was intriguing that, though different, they were also very much alike.

Both book tours were in Chicago (Ha, given!)
Both women used their life story to shape their books.
Both women wrote in the early AM hours to get their book written. Writing is not their full time job.
Both women produced books that were P-H-E-N-O-M-E-N-A-L!

I would DEFINITELY recommend attending a book tour, if you haven’t had that experience yet! It was SO fun to not only take a road trip, but to get to know the author more + the book on an entirely different level. Plus, you can *usually* meet the author, as well, and get your own copy of the book autographed. Truly an incredible experience!

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Have you attended a book tour?
What author + book was it?
How was your experience?

Would love to hear below!

Meet'cha Halfway!

In exactly one month, my BFF Alex and I will be three days into our 11-day road trip out West!

Her and I have taken several road trips over the years — including our infamous Route 66 Road Trips (yes, we went twice, back-to-back years — more on this down below!)

No lie, up until the very first road trip, we were planning on going to Disney World for New Year’s Eve. We both had some time off at the end of the year, and thought, what better way to bring in 2015 than over fireworks at the most magical place on Earth?

Well…24 hours before our trip, I remember Alex asking me, “Ashley, if you could go ANYWHERE, where would you want to go?!” You see, gas prices were at an all-time low (like $1.50 / gallon) which is just unheard of these days! We had an entire week off. We could do ANYTHING.

It was like her and I both read each other’s mind….”The Grand Canyon!” we both exclaimed.

Without much time to think about it or plan, Alex asked her mom if she could borrow her SUV, and then came to Indy to pick me up. We had the car! We packed the car with a bunch of stuff! (Mind you, this was a couple days after Christmas and it was mighty frigid outside, so lots of coats / clothes / blankets made it into the vehicle). And then we started driving West.

The only thing with this plan, was that we didn’t have one.

We planned the trip as we went! We used Pinterest and blogs and Instagram tags to put together our road map. And sometimes, we just stopped along side of the road because we saw something we wanted to check out, and could.

The other stipulation?
We were trying to do it as affordable as we could!

We actually calculated what we spent after the whole trip was over, and it was around $300 / person. (I know, right?!) The beauty about traveling along Route 66 is there are a bunch of roadside attractions that are free to see. Things like the:

-Old Chain of Rocks Bridge
-Blue Whale of Catoosa
-Cadillac Ranch
-Midpoint
-World’s Largest Bottle of Ketchup

Every other night, we would pay for a place to stay. On the nights we weren’t sleeping in an actual bed? We turned the backseat of her mom’s Ford Escape into a bed. Meaning we moved everything from the backset to the front, put the seats down, and then layered blankets / pillows across to form our “makeshift bed”. It was quite a sight! We stopped at an awesome Rest Area in Oklahoma that treated us very well. We made sure to park the SUV in a safe, well-lit place. Where we could high-tail it if we needed to. But honestly, no one ever bothered us. Except Mother Nature when the car got so cold we had to turn it on for a tad to heat it back up before falling back asleep.

Oh, the memories!

During that first Road Trip, we made it all the way to Holbrook, AZ and stayed in the Wigwam Motel (otherwise known as the Cozy Cone Motel in the movie Cars). It was New Year’s Eve and we watched the ball drop on the tiniest TV screen. We went to bed knowing that tomorrow, the first day of the year, we would finally make it see the Grand Canyon!

Joke was on us, though….Ha Ha…because we woke up to inches of snow on the ground. They actually closed the road that you take to get to the Grand Canyon because of all the snow! All of that driving across the US to not even made it to our final destination?!?

That’s when we realized….it’s not about the destination, at all, really. It’s about the journey to get there!

The song “Find Yourself” (from the Cars Soundtrack) puts those feelings into lyrics that explain exactly how we felt! We decided next year, we would make the trip again, so we could finally see the Grand Canyon! But in the meantime, we would enjoy the rest of the trip headed back home.

And that’s what we did! The next year, we took Route 66 Road Trip - Round #2, and it was JUST as good. We did take a detour off Route 66 on the way out, and drove more through Oklahoma, Kansas and Colorado, before trucking it into Arizona and witnessing the Grand Canyon. We got to skip along the Yellow Brick Road, sled the sand dunes, dip our cold feet into the warm hot springs, step in four states at once, experience Flinstone’s Bedrock City and more. Another amazing trip, for having very little of a plan.

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But here we are now! Road Trip #3!

And this trip, is a tad different. Here’s why:

• We’re going more NW not SW!
  Our trip includes seeing the Badlands, Mt. Rushmore, Yellowstone, Glacier National Park, Bemidji, MN and some other places along the way! We didn’t realize when we started planning, but have soon learned that these National Parks have seasons, and some of the parks only have sections that will be open when we are traveling there.

• It’s quite a bit longer!

  The last trips we took were maybe 5 or 6 days. This trip, though, is twice that!

• We have a little bit of a bigger budget.
  Which translates to: We’ll most likely not be sleeping in the car! Camping, AirBnbs, lodges, hotels are all on the list. But Pearl (my dear Kia Soul), I think you’re just going to be used as a mode of transportation this time and not an accommodation! You deserve that! (Especially because you are almost paid off….EEEEEE!!!!)

• It’s during May! Not December!
  Meaning there are going to be more people out exploring, and things fill up fast, especially when you aren’t sleeping in your makeshift bed. Did you know reservations for Yellowstone usually fill a year in advance?!? Pray for us that we don’t freeze that night, if we cannot secure a room and try to camp in the 40 degree weather (YSNP will actually not let you sleep in your car). Hahah.

And because of this, we decided we needed a bit more of a plan than “just winging it”. Though I’m sure there will be some things we do, that are “off course” :)

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So, what do you do when you + your BFF have pretty jammed packed schedules, but need a good day or so to plan?!

YOU MEET HALFWAY!

I don’t know why we didn’t think of this before. You see, she lives in South Bend, IN and I live in Plainfield, IN. Which translates to an almost 3-hour trip. But if we met half way, we could have a whole day together that wasn’t consumed of driving back and forth!

We discovered a little winery that’s drop dead center in between her house and mine, and took an entire day dedicated to one thing: Planning Our NEXT Road Trip!

Oh, how weird this felt. Alex and I are both planners by nature. But the fact that we hadn’t planned the last two trips….made us wonder if we should be planning this one in so much detail!

After sitting there, from when the winery opened until the winery closed, and several glasses of wine later, our 9-page Google Doc itinerary had a pretty great start! We finished our meet up by getting dinner at a local pizza shop, and sharing our thoughts of our upcoming trip, while the adrenaline of our next big adventure rushed through our veins!

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I remember driving back home that night, and thinking, “You know what, meeting halfway is genius. We should really do this more often!”

Do you ever have those days that you just really need to talk to your BFF?
Or you need some of your Ma’s loving?
Or you’d like to catch up with someone you haven’t talked to in awhile?

Consider saying:
“I’ll meet’cha halfway!”

I think a lot of us get in the habit of thinking “they are ‘too far’ away” or “it’s their turn to come to me” or “I’ll see them during the holidays.”

But what I’ve learned lately: Community is SO important! Friendships ARE much needed! Having time to chit chat with those you love can really turn your day / week / month around. You don’t HAVE to wait until “later”. Why don’t you get together now?!

IF you are close enough (a couple hours away from one another), maybe you can MEET HALFWAY and enjoy a nice day together or at least do dinner?! Heck, you don’t have to plan a big, elaborate road trip. You can just visit with one another! Give it some thought!

I have a feeling as I get older and my time becomes more consumed with “adulting” activities (marriage and kiddos), our BIG road trips won’t happen every year. But perhaps, these mini-road trips AKA “meeting halfway” are going to become the cornerstone of our friendship <3

Losing a Loved One <3

Today marks 3 months since Grandma passed away <3

Losing her has been the most difficult thing I’ve ever experienced. I have never had anyone “close” to me pass away until January 9th, 2019. People tell you to “hold your loved ones close” and “spend as much time with them as possible.”

But the things they don’t say?
What happens when they are gone.

• No one tells you what it feels like when you lose someone you love.

• No one warns you about “the call” you’ll get — especially when death comes unexpectedly. And then what to do when you hang up from that call and your mind is spinning in disbelief.

• No one prepares you for picking out a casket, let alone seeing your loved one laying in that casket.

• No one tells you how to respond when your Grandpa, a man you’ve never seen cry before, gets washed away by his tears.

• No one tells you how fast word spreads. But how loving and giving people are — The number of meals that show up. The amount of messages you receive. The cards of condolences.

• No one warns you that you won’t want to be “around people” for a good while. It’s nothing against them, but it’s more so you don’t really want to talk.

• No one warns you of the things you’ll have to do after the death… (Order death certificates, cancel the now unused cell phone line, remove names from accounts, call companies to stop auto-orders, read drafted emails that were never sent, tell people out in public why <insert name> isn’t with you today….)

• No one prepares you for the time you visit the last places you were with them, and the emotions that come flooding back into you.

• No one prepares you for the sadness, the “what if’s”, the hopes for “one more day”, the dreams you have where they are still “right there” with you, the things you had planned to do in the upcoming year that now won’t happen, your big life moments you wish more than anything they could be at to celebrate with you, but instead they will be watching from afar.

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If you have recently lost someone, I feel for you. I know how heavy your heart must feel <3

Here are some things that have helped me during this trying time:

1. Write down ALL the memories

I did this the night before Grandma’s funeral. Every memory, every moment, every story I could remember….I wrote it down. I didn’t want to forget the all the special times we had together. I didn’t want to forget the incredible woman Grandma was. (Though, how could I?! She was the BEST Wife. The BEST Mom. The BEST Grandma we could have all ever asked for and more).

2. Share your stories of them <3 Let their legacy live on!
My Grandpa is quite the story-teller. I can’t believe the things he can remember from so long ago. After Grandma’s passing, we spent the entire week at Grandpa’s house, and most of it involved story telling. I feel like those memories we shared (the good, the bad, the funny, the silly, the long ago, the recent) were the glue that held us together during this tough time.

3. Look for little signs they are saying “Hello”
I’ve heard people say before, when they see certain things, it’s a sign their loved one is near. From lady bugs to dragonflies to pennies on the ground.

Grandma? Hers is snow. (At least in my eyes). The day she passed, it flurried it a little bit. And the day of her funeral, it snowed feet. Not inches, but feet. She wore a snowman sweater that she had embroidered as she lay to rest. My sister and I even built her a mini snow woman that day. Now every time it snows, I think of her. I like to think she’s tossing snow (like confetti) down from up above to say “Hello” <3

4. Know that it’s OK to be “emotional”
There will be times when you burst into tears and didn’t even feel it coming. I can vividly remember this happening three times after Grandma’s passing.

The first was minutes after I received the call from my Mom. I was almost to work, and that day I was suppose to train one of our new team members who flew in from Omaha the night before. When I pulled up to the office, I ran inside, tears streaming down my face, in such hysterics that I couldn’t get any words out. My co-workers had no idea what was going on, but pulled a chair out for me to sit in and got me a bottle of water. Finally I was able to speak. I told them I had to go home. My Grandma had died. Without hesitation, they said they would take care of everything with the training and any emails I had that needed responses to. God Bless them <3

The second was on my way into church the Sunday after she was gone. Pastor Matt asked me in the parking lot, “How are you?” (Doing his typical, Sunday thing!) My usual “I’m good! How about you?!” response turned into me bawling into his shoulder. Gosh, I felt like my life was shattered into pieces. But he comforted me and helped pick up the pieces….and that I’m forever grateful for.

The third time was when I called a company my Grandma had ordered things from online. She had set up auto-shipments for several products she needed, but since she was no longer here, we needed to cancel the orders. When I got through, I told the lady on the other line that I needed to cancel an order, and proceeded by giving her the Order #. When she asked why I would be cancelling, the floodgates opened and I could barely get out, “My Grandma passed away”. She was so kind and said she was incredibly sorry. Even though she didn’t know Grandma (or me for that matter), her kindness to a stranger on the other end of the phone made the call a bit easier.

The saying, “You never know what a person is going through. Be kind, always.” …That couldn’t be more true during a time like this. I keep that quote very close to my heart now, and think of it often when I am interacting with others. Because it’s so true, you just never know.

5. Give yourself time to grieve.
Grieving does not happen overnight. As my Grandpa said, “It gets a little easier with each passing day.” And I do think that’s true, but there’s still much sadness in me today.

I honestly don’t think it will really hit me that Grandma isn’t “here” until the holidays when we are all together as a big family and she is missing. In recent years, I’ve heard people talk about the holidays and they aren’t always a holly, jolly time for all. I didn’t really understand this until now, and I have a feeling it’s going to hit me hard this Christmas. Living “away” from “home” means the holidays are the times when I would see my loved ones, like Grandma, the most.

I think the grieving process will be ongoing. There are things I have done, and plan to do, to help me cope with Grams being gone. One thing I did in January / February was create several pages in my “Vision Book” about her. The two of us had also started a T-Shirt quilt, and I have every intention to finish that this summer <3 I also want to finally publish my book, “365” and dedicate it to her. She had always been one of my biggest supporters of my passion projects, and I wouldn’t have finished it without her and Grandpa’s encouraging comments along the way.

I guess grieving, for me, is keeping her alive, even with her being gone <3

6. Turn to Him
I am going to be 100% transparent here. Up until last summer, I have not been to church since my parents took us when they were still together and we were kiddos. Faith has never been a big part of my life, until I decided last summer I wanted to learn more about religion and church and the Bible and God and Jesus. I stumbled upon Tribe, which is a church that launched in Plainfield last Fall. I have been going since.

Tribe has given me a place to call HOME and an opportunity to discover Him. Feeling connected to Him makes me feel connected to Grandma. I talk to God and ask Him to take care of her, my Grandpa and my Mom. I know up there, she is safe, pain-free and running around in the clouds of Heaven. It gives me more headspace, knowing that one day we will meet again.

I can’t say I would have felt this way if she would have passed away a year earlier, when I wasn’t sure what to believe. It’s so nice to be able to pray and talk to Him, even though sometimes I wonder if I’m praying the right way. (Though I don’t really think there’s a right or wrong way to pray.)

7. Keep a journal
The week after Grandma passed, I actually bought a new calendar. Though, this wasn’t used for writing what I had “to do” that week. Instead, I turned the calendar into a journal — full of prayers, memories and days documented.

Sometimes you just need to grab a pen and start writing. Empty your brain. Get what’s up in your head out. That’s what this calendar was for me.

To be honest, I started very strong. Writing in it everyday for a good month or so. I don’t write in it as much as I did, because now I am sharing my writing in other areas (like this blog). But it was especially helpful at the time!

8. It’s OK to keep talking to them
I remember my Grandpa tearing up at Grandma’s funeral, saying he still talks to her when he’s in the living room watching their shows. And it hasn’t hit him that she’s not there, until he hears no response, and then remember she is gone. Gosh, this broke my heart </3 But then my Aunt told him, “Bud, that’s okay! You can still talk to her.”

And then I realized, it’s perfectly fine to keep talking to them. I write Grandma notes. In my journal. On my social media. At the end of this blog post. It’s perfectly OK to keep talking with your special someone, even if they don’t respond. They are the best listeners.

9. Don’t let them be forgotten <3
To this day, there’s not a day goes by that I don’t think of Grandma. But I also want to keep her memories of her alive forever.

• Order a Memory Bear
  One week after Grandma’s passing, I heard on the radio the DJs talking about people using clothing loved ones who had passed to create memory bears. I KNEW right then and there I wanted to do that with a couple of Grandma’s pieces. Especially because bears were always her FAVORITE.
  
  When we were at Grandpa’s house, he had actually started to go through some of her clothes to see if us girls (Mom, sister and I) wanted anything. My Grandma was an expert sewer and a lot of her clothes have very special meaning because they were made by her. So we had piles and piles of her wardrobe, now in our closets.
  
  I thought…that’s it! I’ll use a sweatshirt she embroidered for a bear for Mom. And I’ll use the shirt she wore to my Grandparent’s 50th wedding anniversary for a bear for my Grandpa.
  
  Just last weekend, I placed the order and shipped the Etsy shop Grandma’s clothing. I am eager to get the bears back <3 Cindy at Sewing Done has been amazing to work with. I haven’t even seen the finished product yet, but already recommend her 10/10! She’s been so responsive and the work I’ve seen of hers is just incredible.

• Make a “Loved Ones Live On” Book
  A couple summers ago, I took a blank journal and created a “When You Need It” book. I stuffed it with notes people have written me, fun articles I’ve read, all the best quotes and things that make me happy + bring me joy. Whenever I am feeling a bit down, I pull out my “When You Need It” book, read it and am reminded of how loved I am.
  
  After Grandma passed, I decided I wanted to do something similar. But this book, would be called “Loved Ones Live On”. I wanted to fill the pages with things that remind me of Grandma. Photos of her. Notes she had written me. Little things I have saved over the years. All the memories I jotted down the night before her funeral. I want a place where I can go to, when I’m missing her. I want something I can one day show my kids, to tell them just how amazing and resilient their Great Grandma was <3

Photo Credit: faith teasley

• Start Your Own “Barbara Day”
  Last year, I read Annie Franceschi’s book “Permission to Try” and it was amazing! One thing in her book that I just adored is what Annie calls “Barbara Day”.
  
  You see, Annie’s Mom passed away unexpectedly when Annie was 17. In her book, she says, “Just because she isn’t here with me, why do the stories and the memories have to end? What if I started to celebrate her and make new memories?” It led her to create Barbara Day, which happens every August 17th.
  
  ”It’s a celebration of her life and an open invitation to anyone who knew her to remember her, talk about her, share stories, and do something in her honor. Hosting this has led to so many wonderful experiences and, in many ways, new memories of her for me and for the people who loved her too. Across the Barbara Days and in the years that have followed, I have been humbled by the legacy she never knew.”

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Nine (9) was always a special # to Grandma.

She passed away on January 9th, my birthday is February 9th, my sister’s birthday is March 9th, she started dating my Grandpa on May 9th, their anniversary is June 9th. You get the picture! I thought it was only appropriate to write this blog post today, April 9th. To celebrate Grandma and let her legacy live on <3

If you’re watching Grams, which I’m sure you are (you’ve always been such a big part of my writing and passion projects), I just want to let you know I still think about you everyday. I love you and miss you so much. Until we meet again <3

Creating a Vision BOOK!

Think New Year’s Eve…2019 soon approaching….a brand new year!

When the clock strikes midnight and the new year is upon us, I don’t know about you, but I start dreaming…

• What MAGICAL moments does the year ahead hold?

• What BIG goals do I want to accomplish?

• What can I do to make this the BEST year-to-date?

The last couple years, I have been using New Year’s Day to map out the year ahead and physically write out my goals for the year. Usually by this point, many ideas have been swarming my mind. I need to get them on paper before they escape me!

This year, the only difference is I waited until the weekend to do this. Social media reminded me “there’s nothing special about January 1st”…and let’s be honest, I was running around Indy that day, picking up a car on the North side and prepping for the Whole30 Justin and I were starting the following day.

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That Saturday (January 5th), I woke up and knew today was the day! I had the whole weekend to dream + focus on my goals for the year. When I stretched my arms and rose from bed, I noticed the journal my brother gifted me for Christmas laying on my desk. “Hmmm…I thought! A blank start. A fresh beginning.”

I opened the first page of the “Funemployed” notebook and said to J, “Hey babe, pick 3 colors!” He responded: blue, green and orange. I grabbed those Flair pen colors and almost instantly wrote 12 visions I have for 2019. It’s like they were brewing for awhile…because my hand kept writing without stopping. It was SO nice to have these thoughts out of my noggin’ and on paper.

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Later that day, I thought to myself, “What’s going to keep me motivated to work toward these aspirations?” The summer before, I created a vision board on a blank canvas. It was not only therapeutic to make, but it served as a reminder of the person I was trying to become. I decided: I’m going to make another vision board for my new goals! I can hang it up and see it everyday to remind me where I am going!

I went to my #CraftCloset to see what materials I had to work with. While inside, I found a square cork board (PERFECT, I thought) and a TON of random magazines I saved from the last couple years. BINGO! I grabbed a pair of scissors and got to cutting!

For Christmas, Justin and I got a King size bed, so we moved the Queen size bed into my “old office” AKA the “new guest room”. But I keep using it as my office with the bed being my desk ;) I started flipping through the magazines, cutting things out that made my heart happy and making piles all over the bed! Each pile relating to a goal from my book.

After hours…and I mean HOURS and HOURS of flipping + cutting, it was time to get these cutouts onto the cork board! I had grabbed a bag of push pins and was going to begin “tacking” them on the cork board, but OMGSH there was WAY too many to fit. The struggle was real!

Hmmm…..

• Do I abandoned the idea?! (Psh, no!)

• Do I find a GIANT corkboard instead? (That sounded like a bunch of $$$ dollar signs…)

• Oooo! Wait!

Laying right next to me was the notebook I had wrote my 12 goals in. Originally, I was going to fill the remaining pages by WRITING the same goals down, everyday for the next year. (Rachel Hollis taught me to write down your goals, as if they have already happened, every single day….to keep them fresh in your mind!)

But….what if I used this space to fill the pages with VISUAL reminders of my goals + the person I am striving to be + the things I want to do this year?!? And then instead of writing down the goals, I could flip through it to be inspired and reminded. I absolutely LOVED the new idea!

A VISION BOOK!

…I called it! It would be the best book I read all year ;)

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When my mind shifted from vision board to vision book, I put the push pins away, grabbed my glue sticks and got to pasting!

I thought of my vision book as a giant puzzle. I had the pieces…now I just needed to “put it together.”

Let me tell you…this process took weeks! My “100 piece puzzle” soon turned into a “250 piece puzzle” and then a “500 piece puzzle” and finally landed at 1,000+ PIECES!

I didn’t finish my Vision Book until the middle of February (nearly a month later, and I worked on it almost every day).. But in reality, I don’t think I wanted it to end.

I could have easily stopped when the page was “somewhat full” but I kept wanting to add more, more, more! That meant…. more magazines!

My first magazine venture: Justin and I visited Barnes & Noble to get a couple new books. Before leaving the bookstore, I swung by the magazine rack and grabbed two magazines off the shelves. Surely this would be enough!

Nope. Haha. I devoured those magazines in one evening! So the next day, I went to Goodwill to get more. If I was going to buy a lot more magazines, I would not be paying full price for them!

I’m pretty sure I kept Goodwill in business for those next few weeks. When I ran out of magazines at home, I went out to buy more.

You guys know what….if you go to Goodwill enough times, you’ll probably stumble upon a magazine holder for all the magazines you just purchased. LOL. I meant, look how happy I am about this spectacular find. Seriously, a kid in a candy shop.

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When I began putting the pages together, I “guess-timated” where all the pages would fall in the book. I kept the order of my goals that I originally wrote down. But there was a lot of guess-work involved.

One afternoon, I thought, “I need tabs!” So I made tabs! That way I could easily find a section and flip right to it. All I needed was a bunch of colorful paper, a sharpie, scissors and some packing tape to “laminate” them.

Tabs were created and then I kept cutting / pasting!

There were a couple times when I “miscalculated” the # of pages I needed for each section, or the page placement was off, so I had to take each page out and rebind the book. But that’s what I really liked about having a SPIRAL bound notebook. It was easy (though a little time consuming) to do!

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Even though the book took me more than a month to create, I thoroughly enjoyed the entire process. It was my way to relax. It gave me a space to get creative! And I didn’t know it when I started, but after my Grandma passed away on January 9th, it gave me a place to grieve. Several pages in the book are dedicated to her <3

Finally on February 10th…my Vision Book was COMPLETE!

150 pages of inspiration had been made with love! Since my birthday was February 9th, I like to think of it as my birthday gift to myself :)

Since the completion of my Vision Book, I have really enjoyed going back every week, and re-reading it. The pages get me so excited! They remind me why I set the goals in the first place. Words are great, but sometimes you need photos to help remind you. At least, that’s what I’ve always said (AKA why I take so many dang photos on my iPhone! LOL. They help me remember!)

Now…I’m off to tackle my goals! One of which can already be crossed off :)

#12 - Launch “A Day in the Life”

If it wasn’t for this vision book, #ADayInTheLife would probably still be in my head. This book inspired me to quit waiting around, and make the dang thing happen already :) I gave my blog a complete makeover and wrote my “first” post under the new branding!

Movement is being made as a result of my Vision Book! It’s really working!!! As the year progresses, I am excited to see the pages in my book come to life! It’s quite the feeling!

XOXO

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To create YOUR very own VISION BOOK…

Here’s a step-by-step HOW TO:

Step 1: Set Your Goal(s)

Step 2: Cut out pictures / words from old magazines that relate to your goal(s)

Step 3: Find yourself a nice, blank journal!

Step 4: Create tabs to separate each goal (optional)

Step 5: Puzzle + Paste your clippings

Step 6: Repeat (as needed) - AKA buy more magazines!

Step 7: Reorganize pages (if needed)
*Note: This works best with a SPIRAL notebook.

Step 8: Enjoy your vision book!
Read it often and let it motivate you to make your DREAMS come REALITY!

I’d absolutely LOVE to see your Vision Book!
Feel free to tag me on social @ashleynnoga to share your completed book!

:)

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Master Meal Planner + Grocery Store Shopper

As many of you know, 2017 has been the year of #ARecipeAWeek. That means that each week for a year, I've been cooking a new dish! With that, I have learned to become a "Master" Meal Planner and Grocery Store Shopper.  

Wanna know the funny thing?
Up until this year, I had never sat down and made a list for the grocery store. I didn't know it was a "thing". I would literally show up at Kroger and buy whatever looked good to stock the fridge (and by golly, hopefully I had eaten a meal right before I went or I would buy every. single. thing.) Then, after ALL OF THAT time shopping and money spent, I would usually end up eating frozen pizza or tacos for dinner every night because the fresh food I purchased didn't have a plan. I would waste SO MUCH food because I would forget about it, it would spoil and then I would kick myself later because it went bad. 

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Enter 2017. Times started to change. I learned about the whole concept of Meal Planning. I also learned the value of grocery shopping every week vs. whenever. To do all of this....I needed a LIST. I needed to PLAN it all out. 

So I made this handy, dandy tool I like to call my "Grocery List" (super fancy, I know). Haha.
Inside, you will find 3 different pages:

1. Meals for the Week - where you write what you're making each day!

2. Grocery List - where you write what you're buying for that week!

3. All Meal Ideas - where you can keep track of all the meals you know how to make, so when you are stuck on ideas, you have a place to generate ideas!
   

This template works well for me! And it may just work well for you, too! I've had several people request a copy, so I thought I'd make a post to share it with y'all. 

If you use my grocery list, I can promise you this. You will have a plan for your meals so you will most likely eat healthier, not waste as much food, and don't have to think about "what's for dinner" each night. It's all laid out in front of you. Print it out and hang it on the fridge, so everyone else knows what's for dinner, too! 

>> CLICK HERE TO GET YOUR FREE COPY OF MY MEAL PLANNING / GROCERY LIST <<

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TIPS: 

• Check out this "completed" version, if you need an example on how it works!
  

• I would definitely recommend starting with the SCHEDULE column in the "Meals for the Week" tab BEFORE planning everything out. Especially if you have other people you are cooking for. Write down what's going on that week, so you know what meals would be best for each day.
  
  For me, I put J's work schedule (since it varies) so I know if he's working the day or night. This helps me because if he's working a late night, I make a simple meal. If he's home, we may grill out or make a "fancier" meal we have more time for. Or heck, we may have a Date Night and I write that on the schedule, too. "Out to Eat"
  

• I personally like to plan meals EACH week! It's super simple to think ahead 7 days. When you try to plan for several weeks ahead, it can get a little intimidating and overwhelming.
  

• Pick a day to plan + shop + prep and try to keep it a routine! For me, Sunday's are usually my day, unless of course I'm traveling and not home. Make it work for you!
  

• On the Grocery List page, I estimate how much each item will cost so I have an idea of how much I will be spending when I go to the store. It's helpful for budgeting!
  

• Usually I just plan out DINNERS on the "Meals for the Week" tab, but I do have a small box for notes where I can write down lunch / breakfast ideas. Hey, make it work for you! If you need to change it at all, go right ahead.
  

• Any questions? Let a girl know!
  I hope you enjoy your new meal prep + grocery list!!!!

Lyft in a Nutshell

Today was Day 1 of driving Lyft. 

Lesson 1: Good things are scary. Do them anyway. 
I mean, I know it's only Day 1 but my first thought after coming home was, "Why didn't I do this sooner?!?"
#1 - The money was easy!
#2 - The people are so incredibly awesome, and all so different.
#3 - The rides are like a mystery. You never know where you're going go to go, or where you'll end up. It's actually such a cool concept. 

Lesson 2: The best way to learn is to do. 
I had no idea how to operate the Lyft app, especially considering my "mentor training" was last August. A whole year ago! But I peeled back the hot pink Lyft sticker, stuck it in the upper, right-corner on my car, turned on the app, did a test drive, took a deep breath, and put myself in "online" mode. Before you know it, I went from feeling like an amateur to feeling very confident behind the Lyft app. Really, you learn by doing! 

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Day 1 Stats:
4 Rides. 3 hours, 24 minutes. $64.15

I mean, the stats are great and all.
But, my favorite part was the people:

(1) Shirley - Mammogram ($5, 10 minutes). Sat in the backseat. Very friendly. We talked about her day. Her granddaughter drives for Lyft / Uber / Door Dash. Sorrowed together about Texas and Hurricane Harvey, and all the devastation going on down there. She told me about how the Lyft driver who picked her up earlier that day, was his first ride ever, and how he accidentally canceled the ride request when dropping her off. I didn't admit it was mine, but I'm glad she told me, so I didn't make the same mistake he did. Lol. 

(2) Debby (who ordered the ride for a gentlemen she interviewed) - Jewish Federation to Airport. He's a Lyft driver. I told myself I was going to tell no one it was my first day driving (because you should never admit it's your first day). But Mr. Vegas told me he drives and was asking me all kinds of questions, and I just flat out admitted, it was Day 1, Trip 2 for me. He was super tired, but super talkative (wanted to stay awake until he got on the airplane). We conversed about driving Lyft, his interview and VEGAS (I just booked a trip there today!).  

(3) Andrea - Work to Home (Tipped me $5!!! So generous.) Also, the person I talked least to in the car. 

(4) Leeya - Home to Grocery and Back (Multiple trips are a thing??). Such a sweet lady. We talked about the grocery stores we shopped at (Hers are Kroger for meats, Walmart for produce and water, Aldi for the other things) and buying cars (not having a "car note", her car breaking down in April and she's been Lifting since, her saving up $4,000 to put down for a Chevy Cruze, which she's going to buy in 2 weeks), and I shared with her my #ARecipeAWeek project (in which now she told me she wants to try and make the parm, garlic crusted chicken with zucchini and spaghetti squash) and I forget, she's a music teacher! Tipped me dos dollars!

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The other neat thing about Lyft, is I "cashed out" and $54 was deposited within an hour to my bank account. I came home and researched if driving was worth it (considering gas mileage, wear and tear on car, taxes, etc.) and I decided YES. Gotta make sure to put 20% of what I make away for when tax season comes around, but I learned you can claim your mileage, Apple Music, Food / Water you buy when you drive, etc! Thank goodness I've been documenting these things with another new favorite app, Daily Budget. (We'll save that for another post). 

Going back out tomorrow AM during Prime Time. 

Catch ya on the road! 

Enter CULITIVATING a Garden

Enter the first spring as a new homeowner.

You are ecstatic you have your own yard. On the first nice day, you run to Lowe's and put a half dozen plants in your cart. You want to begin a garden. You hustle home with the greens and dig a hole just deep enough that the biodegradable bucket rests on top of the soil. YOU DID IT. YOU PLANTED A GARDEN.

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Enter beginning of summer.

You are watering the plants, here and there. To be honest, they have kind of escaped your mind. Until one day, you look out your bedroom window and see GIANT PLANTS. Did they grow overnight?! You think it's cool and this gardening thing is legit.

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Enter mid-summer.

You take a walk to the community garden blocks away from your house. You see it thriving. The fruits and veggies and flowers are soaring high in the sky. There is actual food on these plants! You are quite amazed. You wonder what the secret is, to such a fruitful crop. You think, "I should probably water my plants more often than just 'when it crosses my mind.'" You create a list of 7 things you aim to do everyday. Watering the garden makes the list. 

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Enter two weeks later.

You are confused. You have watered the garden daily, but there's nothing to show for it. No sign of vegetables. You notice a couple things: (1) One of your plants is toppling over. It needs support. (2) The hose nozzles is great and all but the water comes out so fast, it's putting a ton of pressure on your babies. Maybe using a watering can or screw on an spout with different watering settings would be helpful. (3) Some of the leaves on these plants have small holes in them. Oh vey.

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Enter today.

You decide to you have two options. You can continue to do what you've been doing as a "gardener." Or you can cultivate your garden. You have recently been inspired by @laracasey's book "Cultivate", where she brought a four-year old almost dead orchid back to life. You saw the picture of this orchid on her Instagram story yesterday, and it is indeed, alive and well. You think, if she could bring an almost dead four year old plant back to life, you could surely bring a three month old garden back to life. 

You decide to CULTIVATE your garden. You begin by going to the garage to get a shovel, a bag of soul, a pair of scissors, a wooden paint stir stick and yarn. You have four plants to tend to. You have four plants to dig up. You have four plants to replant, deeper into the soil where the roots can grow. You have four plants to prune. You have four plants to strip the bug bitten leaves. You have four plants to make new again. 

And that's what you do. You begin at one end of the garden and you work your way down. With the first plant, you realize just HOW BETTER it looks and you are excited to get the other three plants in better living conditions. The red pepper, green pepper and zucchini plant have been tended to. You start on your last plant and...YOU FIND A BABY CUCUMBER! Hope is not lost. 

You realize that cultivating these plants are so, so good for them. And even if no other vegetation comes from your plants, you are going to work your hardest to make sure that cucumber grows and grows. You have a feeling, though, that soon you'll begin to see more fruits appear. 
 

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To Be Continued...